Okay. For those of you who know me... I don't cook. I have my own issues with inadequacy in this department and well, when you have a spouse who does enjoy cooking and likes to make delicious meals but may not always be positive about what you make. You get the picture right? Let HIM do the cooking.
It all started a few years back. (Holy Cow! More like 8 years ago!!). I made spaghetti and decided to add garlic. (My bad.... I didn't realize you needed to cook said garlic and put it into slices). I just plopped the half heads of garlic into the spaghetti when it was close to being done. Well, my hubby (bless his pointed little head) has the tendency to say exactly what he thinks about my cooking (though maybe not to others). He said something along the lines of "I don't like it." and all I heard was "This is awful."
How long has it taken for me to come around and cook for him again after that??? Yeah, about 3 years. Lame A$$!! Why don't men learn how to couch what they are saying with something positive before just spitting out that your cooking sucks?? He and I have discussed this several times, and while he has a different point of view of what happened at that first cook off, we have come to an agreement.
We have discussed his managerial skills and working with others, and he has the same difficulty. He wants to be straightforward, tell people they are screwing up and how they should do it correctly and this, of course, would come off as not so polite. If he wants to work on speaking to the people he works with and telling them how to improve and figured out that telling them where they have skills or done things correctly usually makes people feel better before they get the "but, you should's." Why the heck wouldn't he try to do this with his wife?? Constructive criticism is not in hubby's basket of skills.
Okay. So on to last evening. My friend introduced me to the most amazing brownies I had ever had.(Thank you, Jenny!!) And you know what?? They are sneaky chef brownies and have good things in them!! Wow! I thought, I want to make these. Rarely do I get excited about cooking anything anymore, but this had me interested. So, I went and got some of the sneaky chef cook books and last night made my first meal. (Not complete, as Sunshine only permitted me a bit of time to do it, and my hubby ended up doing the puree for me so I could finish the rest). So, it wasn't necessarily so sneaky with hubby in the know about what was going into it, but the Barbell Burgers turned out okay.
Now, "okay" for me means something totally different to Mike, aka hubby. When I asked him what he thought, he said "He didn't like that the burger was crumbling," and that he "didn't like the condiments he put on the burger." Now, granted I had no fault on the condiment issue, other than I never got around to making the sauce that actually goes quite well on said burgers. The crumbly part, again... I know what I did wrong (added to much oats), and can correct it. But the man didn't say anything positive to me. Nothing. Like, "It was a good first try," or "It's creative," or "I can't even taste the blueberries or spinach in it." Nope, he just said what he didn't like about it.
He and I spoke about this tonight. Saying what he did, doesn't make me wish to try and cook again when all there is are bad comments, nothing nice. He said, tonight mind you, that he "Appreciated the effort." Yeah, Sure. He has a rather "rich" palate, and enjoys things very spicy, or lots of flavor. His spicy rating is always 5 star, and this is not the "white version" of 5 star, but the Asian or Indian version of 5-star. Picture sweat pouring down face, under the eyes and nose. This makes Mike a happy camper. The burger I made would be bland to him, but it was healthier than what he usually eats.
So, this is what I figured. I am making the meals for me and Sunshine. If he wishes to partake in them, he is free to do so. If he doesn't like it, tough. I will do what I need to do to make healthy dishes for us. If he doesn't wish to eat it, that will be his shtick. I will fix things that need to be fixed, and try things over and over to get them right... but not for him. I don't think I will ever make something that he actually says "I enjoyed that" or "Wow, that was yummy." I am not going to wait around for a pig to fly either. I am going to cook for me. I think the food will taste much better this way, and well... heck. I should have done this a long time ago. Simple meals, to try and create with a little one in my arms is not going to happen always, but I will make every effort to do what I can with the time that I have.
So, I will be sneaky with my food. I will create what masterpieces I can, and share what I learn. Even though it was crumbly, I still thought the burger tasted pretty good. Just means there will be more left over for others!
So, cook something yummy for yourself and don't forget to giggle. Lord knows I need to practice this!
It all started a few years back. (Holy Cow! More like 8 years ago!!). I made spaghetti and decided to add garlic. (My bad.... I didn't realize you needed to cook said garlic and put it into slices). I just plopped the half heads of garlic into the spaghetti when it was close to being done. Well, my hubby (bless his pointed little head) has the tendency to say exactly what he thinks about my cooking (though maybe not to others). He said something along the lines of "I don't like it." and all I heard was "This is awful."
How long has it taken for me to come around and cook for him again after that??? Yeah, about 3 years. Lame A$$!! Why don't men learn how to couch what they are saying with something positive before just spitting out that your cooking sucks?? He and I have discussed this several times, and while he has a different point of view of what happened at that first cook off, we have come to an agreement.
We have discussed his managerial skills and working with others, and he has the same difficulty. He wants to be straightforward, tell people they are screwing up and how they should do it correctly and this, of course, would come off as not so polite. If he wants to work on speaking to the people he works with and telling them how to improve and figured out that telling them where they have skills or done things correctly usually makes people feel better before they get the "but, you should's." Why the heck wouldn't he try to do this with his wife?? Constructive criticism is not in hubby's basket of skills.
Okay. So on to last evening. My friend introduced me to the most amazing brownies I had ever had.(Thank you, Jenny!!) And you know what?? They are sneaky chef brownies and have good things in them!! Wow! I thought, I want to make these. Rarely do I get excited about cooking anything anymore, but this had me interested. So, I went and got some of the sneaky chef cook books and last night made my first meal. (Not complete, as Sunshine only permitted me a bit of time to do it, and my hubby ended up doing the puree for me so I could finish the rest). So, it wasn't necessarily so sneaky with hubby in the know about what was going into it, but the Barbell Burgers turned out okay.
Now, "okay" for me means something totally different to Mike, aka hubby. When I asked him what he thought, he said "He didn't like that the burger was crumbling," and that he "didn't like the condiments he put on the burger." Now, granted I had no fault on the condiment issue, other than I never got around to making the sauce that actually goes quite well on said burgers. The crumbly part, again... I know what I did wrong (added to much oats), and can correct it. But the man didn't say anything positive to me. Nothing. Like, "It was a good first try," or "It's creative," or "I can't even taste the blueberries or spinach in it." Nope, he just said what he didn't like about it.
He and I spoke about this tonight. Saying what he did, doesn't make me wish to try and cook again when all there is are bad comments, nothing nice. He said, tonight mind you, that he "Appreciated the effort." Yeah, Sure. He has a rather "rich" palate, and enjoys things very spicy, or lots of flavor. His spicy rating is always 5 star, and this is not the "white version" of 5 star, but the Asian or Indian version of 5-star. Picture sweat pouring down face, under the eyes and nose. This makes Mike a happy camper. The burger I made would be bland to him, but it was healthier than what he usually eats.
So, this is what I figured. I am making the meals for me and Sunshine. If he wishes to partake in them, he is free to do so. If he doesn't like it, tough. I will do what I need to do to make healthy dishes for us. If he doesn't wish to eat it, that will be his shtick. I will fix things that need to be fixed, and try things over and over to get them right... but not for him. I don't think I will ever make something that he actually says "I enjoyed that" or "Wow, that was yummy." I am not going to wait around for a pig to fly either. I am going to cook for me. I think the food will taste much better this way, and well... heck. I should have done this a long time ago. Simple meals, to try and create with a little one in my arms is not going to happen always, but I will make every effort to do what I can with the time that I have.
So, I will be sneaky with my food. I will create what masterpieces I can, and share what I learn. Even though it was crumbly, I still thought the burger tasted pretty good. Just means there will be more left over for others!
So, cook something yummy for yourself and don't forget to giggle. Lord knows I need to practice this!
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